Caliburn

I love stories that connect with me on multiple levels. Tonight’s tale continues the City of Duhr story. Remember, the City of Duhr is about self exploration and redemption (maybe) but it is important to realize that we’re not always redeeming ourselves. Sometimes, we’re in someone else’s story for a bit.

I hope you enjoy tonight’s tale:

Caliburn

Lost is when
you don’t know how to get where you are going
you don’t know where you' are going
and
you don’t know why you are
where you are.

I am lost.

Not even the magical compass on my hand can help
as the needle has vanished
the glow faded to a henna red shadow of a circle.

My other compass
Julia’s gift
spins in fury
perhaps she is yelling at my blasphemy
my declaration to steal her from the City of Duhr
perhaps she is telling me not to come
she wants to stay where she is.

I remind myself
daily
patience is the mother of victory
and so I wait here in Caliburn
for a sign on where to go next.

Each morning
I sit in the plaza
outside the bank
at the center of the city
where all streets lead.

Souls drift in and out of the bank
going in with hopes
of escaping this place, this unlife.
Coming out less than they were
turning parts of their soul into coin
to buy secrets, powers, or passage.

Here
the dead give themselves away
to get
what they want
eventually losing
what they need
to exist: their soul.

Today
a girl stands staring at the bank facade
fingers wrapping around her hands
clenching a prayer
shaking
pleading
for another way.

In her eyes,
her golden glowing eyes,
she begs whoever is listening for another way
a way that keeps her soul whole.

I step toward her
verifying that she is who I met in Vezun
the girl with the golden eyes
”Hello?”

She whips her white waterfall of hair a side
fear racking her face
rippling into her balance as she jerks way.

Recognition softens her
quickly chased away by confusion.
”You again?”

“Yeah, hello to you too.”
I smile
stepping cautiously to her.

“You look better than the last time I saw you.”
She smiles
her milky white skin
smooth and flowing over her gaunt frame
smaller, thinner, more starved than I remember her.

“Less punches in the face this time.”
Lightening the mood
I knock my knuckles against my chin
she laughs, lips pull away from…
her teeth are faint
as I choke away any reaction to the thought now falling into me
this isn’t her first trip to the bank.

My eyes now seeing her starved appearance
frail and fading
the appearance of a soul who has given too much away
with little left to keep her rooted her.

“What are you doing here in Caliburn?”
I ask.
”Long way from Vezun or Duhr. Isn’t that where you were heading?”

Her smile sours
her shoulders baring the weight of an unseen stress
”Yeah, I got side tracked."
Pointing to the city around her
to the marble misshapen buildings encircling us
”Stuck here in Caliburn without a way out.”

Digging in her pocket
she pulls a crumbled and crinkled photograph.
No doubt, a clue to her next action just like Julia gave me clues
someone is directing her.

The photo shows
the Caliburn gates in a sepia wash
the exit of the city to the main road
the road to the City of Duhr.

“I cannot pass without coin.”
She points to a figure in the photo
an old woman
ragged
faded almost to nothing
her mouth hanging open showing anyone who will look
that her teeth were faded to nothing.

The rest of her
wasn’t far behind.

“In life, I didn’t help. She just wanted me to go with her to buy her something she could eat. She just lost her teeth and begged me to take her somewhere to get something soft to eat.”
the girl’s golden eyes sink into
shame and regret and
wishful longing to have that moment again.
”But I couldn’t be bothered. I said sorry, I went on to my happy hour and drank my whiskey and wine and ate and had a great time. I left that happy hour, too many hours later and the next morning thought about her - that lady. Now I know what happened. And now I can’t help. If only I-”

“We all have ghosts in our life.”
I cut her words
stopping my own ghosts from swaying into my mind.
Ghosts haunt us here
like memories haunt the living
the living haunt the dead
and what we did
or didn’t do
stalks us.

“Do you know what you need?”
I ask.

Slowly nodding
she looks to the bank
”More coin.”
Tears sneak into her eyes
looking like whiskey against her golden coloring.
”But, Duhr only takes whole souls. The phoenix will never allow me in any less than I am now.”

A chuckle escapes my lips
before I can even find the humor in her words
as I realize
I’m not going back to Duhr
not through the gates of the Phoenix
and definitely not to stay.

I just found a fortune for her
a simple repayment
for the gift she gave me in Vezun.

“I’ll give you a loan. Let’s go.”
I start to the bank
her eyes following me
her feet don’t.

“But, aren’t you going to Duhr?”
She shouts.

“Yeah, but I’m not going through the front door and I sure as hell ain’t staying.”
I keep walking
she chases
catching my arm.

“But, the Phoenix...”

“Already got kicked out by that thing once. Not worried about being asked to leave again.”

She reluctantly follows
in disbelief
and suspicion
I trade my teeth, tongue, fading most of everything else
handing her the coin.

She presses some coin to her forehead
as her soul’s light grows
from fading to full to radiating brilliance
with enough coin left
to do the same
for the lady at the gate.

As we leave
she squeezes me too tight
crushing breath out of me
her eyes and face glowing the gold of her eyes
the illumination of her soul blinding as she skips off to the gates of Caliburn.

She disappears into the crowd
and I sit back in front of the bank
Julia’s compass still spinning
still screaming at me
held in a faded hand
a faint glowing light spilling out from under the compass
from my dim and translucent palm.

My hand is dimmer, faded
but the compass on my hand
the red henna
turning golden and glowing
as the needle returns
pointing me forward.

Where a coil of streets intersect
now stands a stone archway I never noticed before
with a wooden door
without a handle
letters carved in the stone above the door reading
Jackal Corner.

Now I’m found
less than I was
dimmer
faded
incomplete
but maybe

more
than I’ve ever been.

<end>

I hope you enjoyed this latest edition to the City of Duhr. What do you think what we’ll find in Jackal Corner? Would you like to know more about the Golden Eye Girl? This is a community project so please feel free to provide some input on what you’d like to see in the coming weeks.