Networking
With NCTE19 coming up, I was thinking about networking.
The dreaded concept of going into an event, not knowing anyone, wandering until someone talks to you. Sound anxiety inducing to you? Congratulations, you’re human!
Networking gets a bad rap and the kind of networking described above rightfully deserves this reputation. Slimy people trying to get something from you and people who only talk to you if they think you can do something for them. Yes, this is gross and this is NOT the networking you should be doing. If you find yourself at this type of networking event, leave immediately. It is not worth your time.
Relationships are the foundation
Networking should be about relationships. Yes, relationships not contacts. The first critical thing in networking is to get out of the “transaction” mindset and start focusing on relationships. Relationships are about time, investment, connection. A contact is a person with a purpose, they can be put into a bucket. Work contact, writing contact, school contact, etc… This idea of a bucket instantly puts walls around this person. When and why you connect with them is about that wall (work, school, etc…).
Relationships are about connection and people. You want more than a contact, you want a human to relate to and learn more about. Seek relationships.
Starting a conversation
Sometimes networking attendees get stuck into asking questions as their way to meet people. In theory this is good practice but watch out. Questions like: so what do you do? Or so have you worked there long? These questions don’t really tell you much about the person. Skip these canned questions and go for something to build a relationship on. Here are some questions I use: So tell me about yourself? What are your hobbies? What are your favorite causes? Notice all these questions are about connecting on a deeper level than a surface conversation. These sound too personal? Then you’re doing something right. You don’t want to have a transaction. Get to know the person so you can build a relationship.
Yes, And
If you’re not a conversationalist, no worries. Take a page out of Improv. Using the Yes, And method you can build on a conversation that is already happening.
Here’s an example, let’s imagine you step up to two people talking about a book. You listen for your appropriate entry point. What do you say? The person talking says “I heard the book was really good.”, Your response could be “Good to know. What do you look for in a book?” Yes And. In this case we accept the fact the book is good (yes) then add a probing question to learn more (and).
Ta-dah! Conversation!
Go in with a plan
Not a plan for what you can get, a plan for what you want to give. NO, not giveaways! Give as in what you can do for other people. Be a “Go Giver” instead of a “Go Getter”. When you meet people with a mindset towards “how can I help you” instead of “how can you help me” connections are deeper, engagement is higher, relationships are ready to grow.
Have your thoughts organized how you can help others and be listening for the opportunity to help. Listen to conversations on how you can help others and make it known.
Let your goals be known
Feel free to let everyone know where you’re going. For a while in my career I was focused on becoming a software architect. Everyone I met was informed of this fact. And because of that, I received numerous offers to help me achieve my goals through being connected with friends and valuable career advice. if you want to be a writer, tell everyone. If you want to be an illustrator, tell everyone. Be clear, be concise, be consistent.
People like helping others so be ready to graciously accept help. (Even the help that doesn’t seem that helpful)
“Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things.”
Networking as fuel for creativity
Don’t discount networking as an activity for sales people or smarmy business types. Networking is about connecting and building relationships (if you let it be). The above quote on creativity is a good one to think about in the context of networking where your network can be a source of ideas for creativity. Leverage your network to help you in your creative endeavors but again, you’ll get the best results when you have a good relationship and actually know each other.
When you network, these are the things you are looking for. Start conversations. Build relationships. Grow the other person. Inspire each other.
How does that sound? More like a network you want? A network where you all build each other because you care not because you want something.
Catalyst
On the topic of helping others, I’ll include a poem I wrote a few months back. The original post can be found here: https://www.timkulp.com/home/catalyst
I hope you enjoy!
Catalyst
I sit
alone
on the edge of the bed
throwing stars into the sky.
Some I toss near
an arm's length away
lighting up the night
I can feel their heat
see their brightness growing.
Some I throw far
distant points
I'll never see their light
nor feel their warmth
they'll be seen on the darkest nights.
I sit
alone
on the edge of the bed
watching other beds coming out of the stars.
On each bed
someone sits alone
throwing stars
near and
far.
All of us
gliding through the sky
sitting on the edge of our bed
together.
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This week Irene Latham is hosting Poetry Friday on Live Your Poem. Thanks for hosting Irene! Make sure to check out her blog.
I’m starting a newsletter if I get enough subscribers so sign up. I’ll be sharing my content from here and content I find interesting I find around the web.
Also, please feel free to share questions or comments you have about networking in the comments below. I’m looking forward to meeting a bunch of people at NCTE19 and hearing all about your networking triumphs!
Have a great week!